...I think I can say with all honesty that I am sad. I just have to let it out. With all my trying to be positive, I have to tell you, I am a mess inside.
I bring the burden of the world with me, from my family, to my country, to the world. And it sucks 'cause I can only do so much. I don't even feel sad for myself, really, except when it comes to my babies whom I never got to hold.
It does not help that I often make the wrong decisions, however well-intentioned, however well I think I plan, however smart I think my ideas are at the time. Then they go blowing--exploding!--on my face. I feel sad especially if I cause others to be sad, especially not my loved ones.
I try to make things right, to work, but sometimes, somehow, I still end up like an idiot.
Things have not been alright for the longest time. I don't even have the heart to wish for the chance to bring back the time. Why? Because I don't want to make mistakes again., maybe not the same, but the outcome will most probably be wrong just the same...
*SIGH*
Okay, I'm okay now. Such is life. We move on. I move on.
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